Prince William Balding
The 28 year old princes bald spot was first visible seven years ago when he turned 21
Nov 2010
Buckingham Palace today issued a statement indicating that from now
on Prince William will be officially designated as bald. Unlike his
father and uncles, the twenty-seven year old prince has told friends
he will confront the family’s horseshoe hair loss, head on. William
has already requested that palace stylists get out the clippers and
give him ‘a number one’.
The prince’s long-term girlfriend Kate Middleton, rumoured to be the
power behind the dome, reportedly told him, ‘I need you more to be
more Bruce Willis and less Andrew Marr. A thinking person‘s Jason
Statham.’
In the past the prince is said to have been sensitive about his
thinning pate, and is even rumoured to have ended one heated
discussion with Middleton by snapping, ‘Ok, I’m a slaphead, but how
many castles and jump jets have you got, fatty?’
However, the prince has been prevented from adopting an even more
radical look. Seniors members of the royal household allegedly
stepped in to prevent William getting a planned ‘head tattoo’, of a
lion statant wearing an imperial crown.
At first the tattoo appeared
to be a nod to the royal coat of arms, but upon on closer inspection
it turned out to be Simba from The Lion King, one of William’s
favourite films.
Royal hair correspondent Beverly Wright, believes the half-hair
prince has few options but to confront his baldness: ‘William seems
to have realised that he is going to have to live with that shining
patch in his regal thatch. He can‘t do what Edward did, and try and
backcomb it under the rug.
‘Being in the public eye so much, William can’t simply vanish off to
a Swiss clinic for six months intensive carpet-fitting,’ Wright
explains, ‘and then there are the side effects.
What is the least
worst option; a prince with a glittering noggin or a prince with
pendulous man breasts?’
When asked if Prince Harry was also worried about the curse of the
male Windsors, a palace spokesperson said, ‘We are not concerned
about Harry as he has a full head of hair, like his dad.’
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